i miss tai. there, ive said it. its been what, exactly 8 months of denial that were not together anymore and that you're with her. call me pathetic, stupid, and whatever you want. but god, i still feel the same for tai.=( its still tai i want to be with forever, still tai i want to hug when i feel that the world just crashed on me, still tai i want to share my dreams with, its still tai i want to grow old with.=( i know this sounds too late, it was my fault and i know that. and that just makes all the pain harder to bear cos i know that if i had been appreciative of tai's efforts we wouldnt have parted off the way we had.

tai is just so special. we havent talked seriously since we split up, we talked a couple of times but then they were just so awkward. tai taught me so much in life. like being thankful for the simple things, coz those simple things are usually the best, tai taught me to be strong from when we were together and a lot of people were against it until now that were not together anymore. tai taught me how to love genuinely. tai taught me how to love with everything i am, no ifs, no buts. tai taught me to love in the real sense of the word.

i always thought that tai didnt deserve me, that i was better off without tai coz he wasnt there on my birthday, he wasnt there on my grad, he had crush on kriztin, he didnt do this, he didnt do that. it seems that he has failed me a lot of times but in reality, he never had. tai was the best person ive ever known. despite the "important" days he wasnt there, he made up for it every single day that we were together. its like when i want to get mad at him for not being there, i couldnt coz deep in my heart i know he did his best. by the look in his eyes and the touch of his hand i know he never meant to hurt me.

im sorry that i chose to be with you because of the wrong reasons. im sorry i never appreciated the things you did. im sorry i had little time for you when i got into college. im sorry i got mad at the simplest of things even if deep down i really wasnt. im sorry i doubted you one time too many. im sorry i wasnt the best mai for you.. but most of all, im sorry i cant let you know that i still am in the same place where you left me. im sorry i cant let you know that i am still waiting for you to come back. im sorry i cant let you know that i still am the same person you loved and left. im sorry i cant let you know all these because i choose not to ruin your happiness. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.