.i know you love me ♥.

大家好

welcome to my world, bitch :)

feel free to read, tag, comment, whatever. :)

i know you love me :)

♥ ♥ ♥

♥prinsesa♥
♥blag!.♥
♥linkage.♥
♥o boardy!♥
♥thankies♥

mariel
DELTAN by choice.2k6-A.
paulinian. iskolar ng bayan.wai guo xue sheng.
prinsesa.
19. *cringe* (omg. im a fossil).
purple.pink.red.
iPod.n91.edictionary.laptop.
liz claiborne.nine west.RL.victoria's secret.kennethcole
passion.SERVICE.commitment.
loyalty.professionalism.integrity.
accountability.transparency.veritas.
brods.sisses.UP friends.
china|pam|mimi|kat|anna|jean|JOY :).
brickwall.manila|tagaytay|seattle|sendai.boracay.
roadtrips. soundtrips. movie marathons.
travel junkie.
dancing.drinking.smoking.
sambuca. cuervo. smirnoff.
PINK ROSES.
mess with my family, ni si le.(read: YOURE DEAD.)
political economics.third world studies.
intellectual and ideological discussions.
KAMULATAN.
gandhi.

the world calls me. and i fear that i am far too involved with it.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

9:28 AM

"though i wish that i were with you now, i know that there is a reason for space."

see what i mean?

♥XOXO♥

timecheck: 11:22p.m.

ive had 3 cups of coffee, and im still way sleepy. ugh. i cant sleep though, i hafta finish the write-up for my macroecon report. ugh. this day sucks. i went from my 2:30 class straight to tipol to watch the sabayang pagbigkas only to find out that the program had started late (wait, that was expected) and that the sabayan hasnt started yet. i told myself id leave tipol at 3:45, to be just a little late for my humI exam cos i really wanted to see the juniors. twas a good thing they were first, so after their outro, i left at once, although after talking a bit with angel, aira, and arra. i was so spent when i got to UP. still, i had to run to my humI classroom only to find out that the prof decided to make it a take-home exam. kainis. then i found out that the juniors had lost. and yeah, ripped my heart out. dr. sioco gave us the results of our last exam and im hafeeeee to say its so much better. i got 97/100, i have an additional point so that makes it 98/100!!and thats in a subject i most definitely loathe!.. so much better than the 80 i got in the first exam. then we had a quiz about rules of replacement which wasnt discussed prior to the quiz (again, this was expected). i got hold of a copy of the rules of replacement a few hours before the quiz, and still, got 17/20!:) isnt perfect, but good enough. :) whats ironic was that the whole day last tuesday, i was at tipol with the kids, and wasnt able to study much (the exam was later that day), and i was even jumpy because of the juniors' sabayan. pero, wow. haha. i soooooooo had to text ms santillan about that, goodluck charm ata ung kids na un eh. :) ano, visit ko na every exam? haha. was sooooooooooooo tired when i got home, but lots of paperwork to accomplish so here i am, drowning myself in my 4th cup of coffee, not ym-ing with anyone so as to concentrate, and yet, blogging.

1ate, nakita poh qtah kanina. naka-blu and wyt stripes cah poh. :) miss cah na poh nya.c".)

hmmmm. you really had to say what i was wearing? haha. kidding. hmmmm. miss na nya ako? again, if were thinking of the same person, then, crap.. miss ko na sya. haha. :D labo.

2why did you left after the 3rd yr finished?

hmmmm.. why did i left? or why did i leave? haha. peace tayo. :D i was supposed to have an exam at 4pm. eh they started a little before 4, so i had to rush.

3i saw you po talking to yourself in the gym.

hoy i wasnt kaya!!.. i was memorizing the rules of replacement, thats why i was holding a sheet of paper!..hmpf.

4alam mo, obvious naman na bitter ka pa. aminin mo na kc.

what exactly should i admit? and what am i bitter about?

5ang dami mo palusot!!!!!!!!!! alam namin nagsawa ka lang sa kanya!!!!!!!!!! porket lang nagka"bestfreind" ka na lalake. pakatototo ka nga!!!!!

ano away na lang?! kung alam niyo, bakit pa kayo nagtatanong?! dont push me.

6ang sama mo, nakikita kita. friend pa nang HAL mo ung palagi mong pinupuntahan!!! binigyan mo pa ng regalo nung birthday niya!!!gusto mo magaway pa sila!!!

get your facts straight. hal KO? hal hasnt been mine in a year and a half. are you that stupid? birthday->regalo. whats so scandalous about that?! gusto ko magaway sila?! and what would i get from that?!

7ate, ang cute ng pants na soot mo today, yung whyt. saan mo poh nbili? ano brand?

thanks, i think so too. :D i love it. :D kuya mark got it for me when he went to hongkong a few months ago. hmmm..lemme check, giordano.

8pano mo alam na masaya sha cai joy?!mag-isip ka nga!!!

pano ko alam? hal cooked carbonara for joy on her birthday. if you werent happy with someone, would you spend that much effort? another thing, i dont think they would still be together if they werent happy with each other. its been more than a year.

9are you a singer? -christy

yeah. a frustrated one. ugh.

dont push me, id be more than willing to face all of you. hell, you know who i am and i answer honestly, you people?! quite the opposite.

♥XOXO♥

Monday, August 29, 2005
3:30 AM

im happy once more.:D sabi na eh.:D nyahaha. can i help it? basta. im happy. :D but im craving for a margarita. i dunno why. nyahaha. basta, im sooooo happy!:D ive gotta finish typing the report handouts for macroecon.. ciao everyone.:D

happy.happy.happy.:D

♥XOXO♥

Sunday, August 28, 2005
4:22 AM

masaya ako ngayon. may reklamo ka?:D hahahaha. im sooooooo happy. :D

im over hal.

seryoso yan. :) promise. and nprove ko yan kanina. basta. :D im soooooo happy. :D happy happy happy. :D i bet tomorrow, happy ulit ako. :D mom has a new phone, ericsson P910i. inggit ako. haha, she's having a hard time using it though. i want i want i want!!!:D

1do you smoke?
occasionally. capri. capri. capri.

2hi ate mariel, misu nah poh. =)
hi..and you are? ako, miss ko na siya.:D

3bakit ang sungit mo dun sa nagtanong tungkol sa best freind mo at sa hon19 mo?1?!?!? at kung hindi nga ung best freind mo yung dahilan, ano??????
ewano pkelam mo kung magsungit ako?? malamang lang, last year pa un. late reaction?! i broke up with hal because things got too complicated, far too complicated for both of us to handle. so might fighting, insecurities, jealousy, demands, and pain. sometimes, you've gotta know when to stop fighting. and no one should say that i gave up on us easily. tangina, you could only imagine how hard it was for me. tama na. its been a year, lets give it a rest.

ano model ng cellphone mo? is it what u use when taking pix?
ericsson P910i. damn, i wish!:D haha. 7200. ugh. so old na.. yup, that and my digicam.

give 10 boy and girl names and say what you like about them.
girls:
1.china- the best shock absorber ever!:D
2.pam- kambal!:D
3.mimi- bestfriend.:D
4.kat caranto- grrrreeeaaattttt dancer.:D
5.angel- un na!:D
6.airra- fairly odd parent.haha.
7.arra- kulet matakot!haha.
8.pretty- my missing demon. haha.:D what i like about her? the way she is when she's drunk!haha.
9.ate teng- strength.:)
10.neean- her smile is the same in all pictures.

boys:
1.rei- the best teddybear, alarm clock, everything!:) and the corniest person!!!:D
2-10....wala na.:D

do you regret letting go?
for some time, yes. but then, ive come to realize that that happened for a reason. and that everyone became better persons after what happened. i think. haha. pero un.. of course there was a time when i did regret it, but the thing is, this is what i want. i want to be in love, not in a relationship that would definitely turn out for the worst.

nakapagmove on ka na ba? paano kung balikan ka nya?
im moving on. :D kaya ko na. :D hmmmm.. kung balikan nya ako? possible, but very unlikely. id like to think that hal is happier with joy. :) and honestly, im okay with that. :) we're both happier and better now, tama na un. :) masaya na sya, okay na ako dun. :)

gusto ko na mamatay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
do you think that would solve anything? c'mon.. life has so much in store for you, and God has a bigger and better plan that you have for yourself, you just have to trust Him. :)

naiinis ka ba sa mga fc?
minsan. lalo na ung nagfee2ling na alam lahat. nako.. haha.

hay. im sooooooooooo happy. :D un na!:D

♥XOXO♥

Thursday, August 25, 2005
7:51 AM

the past days were crazy. or should i say, i was crazy. more than thrice already, i danced all of a sudden (i was alone,of course). i just felt on shaking my ass. haha. i dunno, i felt really good when i danced. either that or i danced cos i felt good. then just a few hours ago, i got my palmtop, went to a lyrics site, sang and recorded 9 songs. haha. what is it with frustrating talents?! i recorded 9 songs..

1. till they take my heart away
2. burn
3. out of reach
4. sana maulit muli
5. when you believe
6. wonderwall
7. overjoyed
8. killing me softly
9. power of two

any requests?! haha. huwala lang. i just felt singing and i did! this isnt the first time i recorded myself singing. haha. vain,i know. :D of course i wanted to know if suck big time or just plain suck. haha. i feel so happy. :D

yesterday wasnt so good for me, though. the group we trained got 2nd place and i was depressed the whole day. im not really sure whether i was depressed or just exhausted. tuesday, it was just i who trained the kids. ugh. i wasnt able to eat until lunch yesterday. it was sooooo tiring and frustrating. they were better during practice than the competition. it was all good though. the experience was victory already. i saw myself in those kids. when i was reminding them of their voices, facial expressions, actions, i saw the bigkaser i was two years ago. i dunno, somehow i kind of wanted to perform too. haha. frustration. during the competition, i had to be the one to do the lights,the problem was i didnt know how!.. my heart was thumping and my hands were shaking all throughout. then the kids gave us gifts. im wearing the bracelet!:) and a letter. it was exhausting, a bit disappointing, definitely frustrating, but somehow, also fulfilling. it was weird, there was a sense of fulfillment and at the same time, disappointment.

for the one who asked the question about me leaving hal for rei, please quit it. i dont even need to explain why i broke up with hal. hal knows the reason why and thats the only thing that matters. besides, you're a year and a month late sweetie.

angel, arra, and aira ingat tomorrow. :) missyou. :)

oyasoumi nasai. ki o tsuke kudasai.

♥XOXO♥

hi ate mariel!kilala poh qitah. miss mo na xa nho?

o? weh. di nga. nyahaha. sinong xa? sino sa kanila? haha. kung isang tao lang ang iniisip natin, o0.. sobrang miss ko na sya.:D

bakit hindi ka nagtatagalog?

hmmmm. bakit, anong wika ba 2ng gnagamit ko? i just speak/write better in english. masama?

you love your bestfriend? siya ba si hal? ang gulo mo naman.

kalma lang. magulo tlga ako. tanong po pa sa kanya. ang bestfriend ko ay si reiman tuazon. hindi si rei si hal. therefore, my bestfriend isnt hal. hypothetical syllogism. nyahaha. exam hangover.

bakit fuck closure? bakit mura? cguro poh plge cah nagmumura..

cos i dont give shit about closure. either way, im fine. yep, i swear a lot. fuck, shit, damn, and the occasional tangina. the last one i use only when im really agitated.

kailan pa ung braces mo? tatanggalin na ba? masakit ba may braces?

hmmm. june2001. my braces are ancient. haha. nope, not yet. ehrm, needs getting used to.

where can i get your pictures?

google it. haha. kidding. nowhere.

hi ate mariel, nasaan poh ung answers moh?

here. where else?

hi, i think where in the same place. i have a bestfriend too, and i loves him. but he doesnt love me.

same place?you're in my room??? haha. kidding. i dont think we are. cos my bestfriend, he loves me, in the same way that i love him. ;)

bakit hindi na lang kayo ng bestfriend mo? di ba kaya mo naman iniwan si hon19 mo dahil sa kanya!??!!!?!??

where the fucking hell did that come from?! tagal nang issue nyan! i didnt leave hon19 for rei. tangina. from your question, i take it that you dont even know the whole story. get your facts straight. and just so you know, i dont want to have anything more than what rei and i have right now.

♥XOXO♥

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
2:05 AM

paulinian ka?from pasig?
nope, paranaque.

who's hal?
sikreto. ikaw, sino ka? kidding. sya na un.

ano ipod mo?saan mo binili and how much?
mini..pink. my mom got it in the states. 300usd. i think its a lot cheaper now.

♥XOXO♥

i will most definitely miss sabayan.

♥XOXO♥

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
7:21 AM

closure. well, minus the talking. i guess seeing hal was enough. so maybe i havent moved on, but now, i can actually feel good about things. im not scared and arrogant anymore to admit that well, maybe, just maybe, i still am unfoolishly in love with hal. and to me, thats a good thing. fuck closure. dont get me wrong, im not hoping/thinking that were getting back together. i just feel better now. i feel nicer now, without the guilt, hatred, and evil thoughts. kidding, 'course. seriously though. i love being in love. and although i dont want to be with hal anymore, i love him. the relationship just made things complicated. im okay with just loving hal. nothing more, nothing less. who knows, perhaps someday i'd be able to move on, maybe not. but for now, i quit forcing myself to. im happy. after a year and a month now, i can finally say i am happy. :)

"Head Over Feet"

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it (sorry.)

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was (thanks. i like it cos its you.)

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault (one year and one month. can you believe that before you, one month was long enough. and yes, i love loving you)

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service (we were stronger than i gave us credit for.)

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience (thanks for your patience. thank you.)

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long (pride?arrogance?)

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now (that inspite of everything,i shouldnt be scared)

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

im back to blogger now. :)

♥XOXO♥

Sunday, August 21, 2005
9:20 AM

i like the colors, dont you?

Take the quiz: "What clothing store are you?"

Prada
Looking the best is the most important thing...Who cares about the money...its your dads anyway...

♥XOXO♥

Sunday, August 14, 2005
8:54 AM

ayan, binalik ko na. nageerase kasi ako ng files sa komfyootuhr.

updates:

1. finally finished my macroecon report. 11 pages. summary lang naman eh.
2. magiimbento nanaman ako ng learnings sa psych10. whats new?!
3. 3 minutes na lang, birthday na ng teddy bear ko!:) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTFRIEND!:) amwaaaahhhh.:) iloveyOusOmUcH.:) aishite iru yo!:)
4. hindi na muna ako magbloblog. mejo dumadami na ang mga kailangan kong atupagin.
5. finance comm. head na ako ng Iskolar Student Alliance!:) aylabyoo guys!:D
6. sa mga Southville guys ko, galingan niyo ha. daya tlga nung ibang section!!!.. d ble, pagagandahin pa natin ung senyo. :) im frawwwwd of you!:)
7. mugto na ang mga mata ko (whatever mugto means)
8. peyups member na ako!:)
9. report ko na sa macroecon sa wednesday..malapit na ako mamatay.
10. naalala ko lang, mahirap pala ang assignment ko sa logic at hindi ko pa nasisimulan. nyahha. cramming galore.

hindi na muna ako magbloblog. pero dko tatanggalin ang tagboard ko dahil yan ang ginagamit ng boylets ko para sabhin sakin ang mga nararamdaman nila.

oyasoumi nasai..

♥XOXO♥

Tuesday, August 09, 2005
7:25 AM

i hate this day. sobra. pagod na ako. ayoko na. ayoko na tlga. pagod na ako. hindi na worth it eh. tama na. titigilan ko na to.

btw, congrats sa mga blockmates ni meh!:) galing2..90/100!!:)

♥XOXO♥

Monday, August 08, 2005
7:50 AM

EIGHT random things about me...
1. i love sleeping
2. i love travelling
3. i collect shoes and bags and books. ;)
4. i play golf
5. i collect porcelain dolls. :D
6. future UP law student
7. future president of the Philippines. ;)
8. techie

SEVEN ways to win my heart...
1. must love GOD
2. be clean
3. smell good
4. pamper me
5. call me a lot
6. wake me up when i ask you to
7. sing. ;)

SIX things that make me mad...
1. inconsistency
2. narrow-mindedness
3. stupidity
4. fakers/posers/wannabes
5. two-timing assholes
6. stereotyping

FIVE things I believe in...
1. GOD
2. myself
3. destiny
4. reason
5. miracles

FOUR things I want to do before I die...
1. bungee jump
2. scuba dive
3. go to rome and meet the pope
4. backpack across Europe!!

THREE things I'm afraid of...
1. blood
2. failure
3. regret

TWO things I need to do right now...
1. logic assignment!!!
2. macroecon report!!!

ONE person I want to see right now...
1. haha. isang tao lang. siya lang. siya pa din. malamang matapos ang ilang buwan, siya pa din. ;)

♥XOXO♥

hi pOh..gLiNg pOh akO sa bf kaNina pOh..nGpraCticE poh kzi uNg bLockmeitz ni MaE.. gLinG2 na pOh niLa.. sObrAng nGimPrOvE pOh..gOodLuck pOh sA iniO 2m hUh? sNa mtAaS nA gRaDe ibGay sNiO hUh? gLiNg2 tLga.. sNa mLigAw kyO ditO at mAtOucH.. sEe yOu pOh oN SatUrdAy.. gOodLucK uLt pOh hUh.. gNyt.. mWahhUgzzz.. i Care xoOo mUch.. tCciC.. Bo0ks bEfOre BoyS bCoz b0yS brIng BabieS.. pkBaEt pOh kyO hUh? fOrgEt do, fOrget re, bUt dOnt fOrgEt me pOh hUH? dtO lNg aCo pRtE pRa SniO hUh? wG pO kyO mgp2GoD hUH..

fuck,hirap itype nun ha.nyahaha.GOODLUCK!=)

♥XOXO♥

Sunday, August 07, 2005
9:13 AM

how far have you gone/would you go for love?

i went to baguio twice to look for that person. we were okay one day, then the day after, *poof*. i looked for that person twice. i went to baguio twice with the intention of looking for that person, but to no avail. its all good, though. it wasnt intentional on his part. i know him too well. now he's in New Jersey. and yes, i am thinking of going there. but the thing is, for what?! its been too long and too painful for me to actually even think of going as far as New Jersey.

would it be worth it?

♥XOXO♥

i couldnt bear not posting this...

Rest in Peace, Sen. Raul Roco.

thank you for believing in our (youth) capacity to create change and make this country a better one for the future generations. you may not be the president, but you truly are a public servant. and for that, we are thankful.

♥XOXO♥

yesterday, china and i helped mae and her blockmates in their english project. i might see them again tomorrow. *crossed fingers* thats if i finish studying for psych and doing my dream journal,which is full of crap. after their practice, my dad picked me up, we went to tagaytay cos my mom and her officemates had their planning in our apartelle. (you can contact me for reservations. i can give a discount.. ;D). so anyway, when we got there, i was so tired that i slept from 4pm to 8pm straight. a little after 10, we left for Gpoint, a bar in Tagaytay. Thank heavens for margaritas!!it was sooooooo cold. it was only after drinking that i was able to take my jacket off. syempre nainitan na ako noh. we were drinking and singing and dancing and pretty much having fun despite the rain and the cold. when we went back to the apartelle, i was soooo tired and semi-drunk. i shared the pink room with ninang vangie so naturally, i couldnt smoke. i had to pretend i was having a midnight snack so i could go out. i went out of the room and smoke just one stick. nako, masama na toh. i was craving for it. so anyway, we heard mass this morning then had coffee and breakfast and starbucks. the view was well, beautiful. it was foggy and you couldnt really see anything but the fog but nevertheless, it was still breathtaking. Tagaytay is definitely one of my favorite places on earth. I love going there, I love having a place there, I love spending time with my family and friends there. I love the beauty it offers. Plus, i get to have my coffee and have rest and fun minus the congestion. obvious ba na inlove ako sa tagaytay??

this week, im planning to really put in more time for my studies. i have an exam in psych10 and my macroecon report is due next week. i will try to avoid nonsense internet activities like chatting, ym, and blogging. ugh. as if my self-control is something i can brag about. ta-ta!

♥XOXO♥

Thursday, August 04, 2005
9:04 AM

its midnight and its raining pretty hard right now. monster (my baby) was barking and barking and so i went to check up on him. since he poops around the house, he has to stay in the dirty kitchen every night. and so, i checked up on him and he was scared (i think) cos it was raining so hard. when i got there, he went up to me and started jumping. i rubbed his back cos kuya jeff said thats the way to make him calm down. well, he did a bit. so what i did, i opened two big umbrellas and placed them in front of him so he wouldnt see what was happening outside. amazingly, he calmed down. hay. i worry about him so much. pano pa kaya pg ngka-anak ako dba? i dont wanna be like those over-protective-almost-insane moms. but, i cant help it. i love my baby. sleep tight monster. mommy loves you. :)

♥XOXO♥

Wednesday, August 03, 2005
4:23 AM

ugh. got my scores in my logic and macroecon exams... 80/100. :( babawi na tlga ako. my grade in macroecon shouldve been 95...pero careless eh. tangina. dmi ksing epal eh.

♥XOXO♥

Monday, August 01, 2005
9:06 PM

i finished reading hp6 today. i started sunday night. wow. i cried a bit, but i like the developments in the story. i cant wait to get hold of the final book. it better be good, cos ima be waiting for years again. im sooooooo excited. :) im kind of toying with the idea of being an auror any day now. haha. dream on.

and for those effin idiots...*flick*Sectumsempra!

♥XOXO♥

i just finished my reaction paper for psych10 about my genogram and honestly, ive never written anything as full of shit and nonsense as that effin essay was.

♥XOXO♥

wag kasi kayong epal. oo, ang lalaki niyong epal.

you have conflicting ideals with the alliance you choose to be with, along with a lame excuse for conviction.

do you even know what consultation means?! i take it that you dont. weird really, cos isnt that an ideal of the alliance you're in?

and yeah, changing the decision so as to keep those who have decided to leave on the grounds of your lack of consultation doesnt really make you any better.

regardless of your reasons for your decision, it doesnt justify your lack of consultation. no use in staying in an org where the ones in charge do not value what its members think.

you preach about democracy and yet you dont even know how to practice it.

i guess that puts you in the hypocrite list right?

i deeply regret having been affiliated with you at all.

definitely one of the biggest mistakes i made.

oh yes, galit ako.

♥XOXO♥

♥move on♥

china mae armand rowi rowi2 bianx barbie eds kat jean brij jinggay tine fhatz jewel jona shiela k-anne aj frances mel pau jhanina carine marra patty shane tribo gwen miko uzzi ninang jen lara ruthie joyce terry albert sr. john veej maks my DA karla tine 2 aira ate teng ate ann ate amay karla b. karla l. tina sena mik riza angge arra cars jow ivan joy
rocking society through education
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a race against poverty
The 15th Miyagi-Philippines Youth Exchange Program
BULATLAT.
JOHN PONSARAN
where the great ones are:PEYUPS!
KNU
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tagboard :)

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*credits
* sanrio
* designed by [Q] ball
* adobe photoshop